Fred Heads Unite

Fred Thompson officially joined the race for the Republican nomination last week, the culmination of months of anticipation and boredom. Now that he is in, I turn my attention to what little I know about Fred and his candidacy, and I evaluate his chances for winning the nomination. I will use my impressions without foundation and my lack of knowledge of his positions. In essence, I'll look at Fred the way most of America will.

Actually, that's unfair at best. I have never watched Law and Order, the long running NBC crime show he has starred in for XX number of years. I don't think he has won any Emmy awards for his performance over the years, so this reflects poorly on his ability to pretend to look "Presidential". I do remember Fred from Die Hard II (the tough cop who supports the Bruce Willis character, John McClain - not to be confused with primary opponent, John McCain...). I could see this tough cop character leading the fight in Iraq. His signature role for me, however, was as a carrier commander in The Hunt for Red October. That kind of Cold War military experience should give him bragging rights among the other contenders in the race. He's been on the front line, and he knows how to pretend to lead an elite fighting force using the latest weapons. Big advantage.

What else do we know about Fred? He was a Senator from Tennessee for one or two terms. His tenure was undistinguished. I read somewhere that he left the Senate because he was sick of the Washington political scene, and his inability to "get things done". He must have had a difficult time getting things done, since he isn't remembered for any meaningful legislation or as a champion of any specific cause. Maybe being a Senator proved to be more challenging than pretending to be a Senator in the movies. Just conjecture.

Fred announced his entry into the race on Jay Leno's Tonight Show, right about the same time that Republican candidates were actively debating real issues on a stage in New Hampshire. Debating ideas with the experts in your own party and taking public stands on important positions in front of an educated audience of would be primary voters must have been a consideration for the evening's plans, but hey - we are talking Leno. The same Jay Leno who asks the probing, thought-provoking questions that reveal the true candidate to the American electorate. Maybe I'm thinking of Tim Russert? Well, anyway, Fred missed the debate, but there's plenty of time for all that real world issue stuff.

I hear that Fred is conservative, like Reagan. Yes, Ronald Reagan, the other actor. Fred Heads like to remind the public about that "synergy". Too bad Fred Grandy (former Congressman and former Love Boat Gopher) wasn't inclined to run, too. Perhaps the candidate debates could have been sponsored by TV Land.

So welcome, Fred, we look forward to basking in your immense talents as a performer. We also look forward to the other Republicans piercing the Fourth Wall so we can all get a look at what you are really all about - manufactured conservative or real leader. Vote now using your Nielsen ratings button.

JS