Am I Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?

I believe that every parent, deep down inside, wants to relive parts of their lives vicariously through their children...by force, if necessary. There's a long line of Little League Dads and Stage Moms out there to support my theory. That's why I'm signing Thomas up for hockey in the fall...and eventually sending Lucy away to acting school...and bringing Marra to New Hampshire with me. I guess I'm no different, albeit more subtle. I want Marra to experience what I didn't, and I want to watch the seeds of political interest grow within her. You might say, I plan to consistently provide the fertilizer to help those ambitions flower within her.

In my few quiet moments, I do wonder if I'm rushing her a bit. Could the complexities of national policy be over her head? Then I recall my own politic awakenings, when I was only 10 or 11.

In the early Seventies, I remember racing home from St. Joseph the Carpenter grammar school in Roselle, NJ to watch the Watergate hearings being televised in the afternoon. I watched Peter Rodino and Sam Ervin grill witness after witness. I watched in spectacular black-and-white as articles of impeachment against Richard Nixon were voted out of committee. I had no idea what was going on, when I look back. It was clear that history was being made, though. Why else would after school game shows like Match Game be preempted?

I remember staying up til after 12 midnight to watch George McGovern draw the short straw and become the Democratic sacrificial lamb for President in 1972. I remember Tom Eagleton withdrawing from the ticket because of 'shocking' revelations of his past psychiatric treatments. I remember my older brother making a cassette tape recording from the television the night Nixon announced his resignation. It was history, and I was there.

I don't want Marra to grow up watching history on TV without at least once living it. Perhaps in New Hampshire, we can capture a moment together. She'll be living it, while I try to relive it.

Then again, maybe she is too young. My sister was kind enough to send me history essay question responses from sixth graders, and it raises some doubts for me. Here are 2 samples:

"Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a virgin, and Benjamin Franklinn were to 2 singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and declared, "a horse divided against itself can not stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead."

"Abraham Lincoln was America's greatest precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation . On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in the moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a suposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career."

I'd better start quizzing her on US history now.

JS